lovelybones
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- huge i didn't want to come home last night. at jonathan's i ate rice with roast beef and two mini pitas with tahini and hummus. then soy milk and a toaster struddle. i talked to john when i got home and fell right to sleep after we hung up. i really needed that...it felt so good to just SLEEP. This morning i had a venti soy chai. then later ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup. tiffany gave me her left over sandwich. thankfully gia ate one quater of the half. i wasn't going to eat the rest but did anyway. so i ate the other quarter and walked to the bathroom to purge but decided against that. i made coffee before i left work and drank it on the way home. that's what i've eaten today but still feel so empty. I WISH THIS WOULD PASS i've become a compulsive over eater. i am disgusting. today gia says "you know i never really noticed, but you really have a butt..like i have a butt" gia weighs a million pounds and apparently so do i. i am worthless. i am a failure. i have gotten fat. i hate everything about my body. i am 5'8" and 125 pounds i am going to loose all of this. i cannot care anymore what other people think of me. i will do what it takes because i know i'm strong enough. 115 i can do this 8:17 p.m. - Friday, Oct. 10, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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